I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.
When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.
I have nothing, nothing to hide.
My friend, he took me for a ride.
Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not anytime.
Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?
I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, not anytime.
And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove!!,
-President Bush wakes up one morning, looks out of the White House window and sees "The President Sucks" written in the snow in urine. Furious, he calls in the FBI and demands the perpetrators be found. Later that day the FBI agents return.
"Well sir," says the first agent, "the urine has been analysed and it's the Vice President's". Bush goes purple with rage and shouts, "Is that all?"
"Well no sir," says the agent, "It's the First Lady's handwriting.",
-Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen?
People were confused about which side to spit on,
-A guy dies and goes to heaven. His tour guide starts to show him around the whole place; the tennis courts, the main lobby , when they come upon a room full of clocks.Some are going fast, some slow and some normal. " What's with all the clocks?" the guy asks his tour guide. " each clock is for each person on earth. Every time they tell a lie, their clock goes faster," he said.Well that makes sense the guy thought to himself. just then he noticed a clock on the ceiling going tremendously fast , and much faster than all the others. " what's that?" the guy said pointing to the ceiling. " Oh, that's George W Bush's clock. We use it as a fan."
-Nutty Hunters Two men went hunting. Joe had been hunting all his life, but Steve was hunting for the first time. Joe told Steve to sit down and not make a sound. So he did.
But when Joe got 100 yards away, he heard a scream. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" he said.
"Well, I was when the snake bit me," said Steve. "And I was when the bear attacked me... but when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg and said, 'Should we eat them or take them with us,' I screamed."
-How do you talk to a fish? You drop him a line.
-Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"
One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"
12-Jun-2005
