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Sat, 15 Mar 2025 19:39
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any good jokes?

Topics Misc any good jokes?
Goku_B
Goku_B
This is a funny one.
Heres a poem called bad pick-up lines
ehh don't I know you from the bus?,
my mom has that same dress,
you wanna see a trick that I learned in prison?,
how much were your breast?,(i busted up lafn when a friend did that)
are you drunk or is that a lazy eye?,
my tools need a shed,
I'd like to park my corrective shoes under your bed,
you think this is impresive now the cold sore is just getn started,
you mind if I hang out here til its safe where I farted?,
excuse me from enterupting & Im not makeing a pass but you must be leavieing the coutry if your packing that much a**.

heres a bar joke
a guy walks into a bar..he says ouch,(cracks me up everytime)

Why are the firetrucks red?You'd be red too if somebody picked up your hose and dragged it across the street
any of you have any funny jokes?
08-Feb-2005
Morphee
Morphee
hmm... i have a joke but i don't know if it's very funny... :s

so it's this guy (whome we will call jack for instance) who is walking on the beach... right on the border with the ocean so little waves come wet his feet. and as he is stroling along, all of a sudden, he sees something shiny a little further in the water. he goes up to it and finds a bottle.
but he can't really see what's in it because of all the sticked things on it, so he rubbs it a bit.... and SPOFF! a gieny comes out of it!

G - hey friend! ok now you know the story, you get 3 wishes granted so let's get on with it... i have to go meet some pals of mine and i'm already late...

jack is absolutely flabergsted... gosh! me? get to have 3 wishes granted?! totally awsome!

G - come on come on! i don't have time to loose with lazy minded humans! ok now first wish?!

jack thinks a little and says:

J - ok... see that parking lot over there? well... i want on that parking lot to apear the most luxurious and fast car... with all the papers going with it and insurance in my hands.

and SPOOF!!! the car apears, shining on the parking lot and the papers in jacks hands.

J - waow!

G - yea yea... no big deal... now second wish! now hurry hunny, i'm getting late!

J - ok ok... for my second wish i would like.... hmm.... 1 000 000 000 € in the most reputated and wealthy swiss bank... and of course i want all the papers and the credit card in my hand.

and re-SPOOF!!! all the papers appear in jack's hand... and the geiny assures him that he has the 1 000 000 000 € on the accont...

G - righto! last wish! hehe.... and make it quick! my dulcinee is waiting for me! and i can't afford making her wait...

now jack has taken more assurance... and he says proudly:

J - hehe... for my third and final wish.... i want to be totally... and when i say totally i mean it... so i want to be TOTALLY irresistable to women! hehe...

and re-re-SPOOOOFFFFF!!!!!






























hehe.... he was transformed into a nice decorated chocolate box...
08-Feb-2005
noble_scarlet
noble_scarlet
hmmm none of my jokes i think r really worth mentioning
09-Feb-2005
Goku_B
Goku_B
I thought it was good Morphee.
-John and Sam are two neighbors always in competition.
One day John walks over to the fence of Sam's yard and sees Sam's wife watering the garden naked. The next day he tells Sam about this. So Sam wants revenge. That night he catches John's wife performing oral sex on John.
The next day Sam comes up to John and says, ''Hey, I saw your wife performing oral sex on you last night.''
''Hah,'' John says, ''I wasn't home last night!'' ,
-What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.,
-I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always! ,
-Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.,
09-Feb-2005
noble_scarlet
noble_scarlet
wow those r really good goku!
09-Feb-2005
angelfeathers
angelfeathers
hehe yes thei are sis
09-Feb-2005
nayru
nayru
ok I have a really old joke:
a man walks into a bar, ow.
09-Feb-2005
Morphee
Morphee
lol! ^^' my dad has this other one...

the 7 dwarves (form Snow white duh...) go to the Vatican to visit the pope... and it is Shy who has to go talk to him... so the 6 others incourage him.

S - great father... are you the leader of sisters?
P - of course! ^^ men and women are the children of God...
S - oh... but are there colored sisters?
P - yes naturally! God does not make any distinctions by the color of his children's skin...
S - oh ok.... but....

Shy paused... and the 6 other dwarves told him to go on...

6 others - go ahead Shy!!! do you want to know or what?!
S - uhm... yes... well.... great father... are their colored sisters in Antarctica???
P - ..... (O.o) well.... uhm... no i don't think so... why do you ask?

and the 6 other dwarves to crack up and crying and laughing.... and Shy to be red as a tomato...

6 others - AAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!! HE GOT SCREWED WITH A PENGUIN!!!!!!!
09-Feb-2005
holybell84
holybell84
:sheep: What the ????
09-Feb-2005
angelfeathers
angelfeathers
hehe ^^' it was kinda funni maman
09-Feb-2005
kitori
kitori
hmm, those jokes arn't bad ^-^ I don't know many good ones but here we go:

4 people are sitting at the table and the wife is feeling cranky, so her red headed sisters says, "Pass the suger, Suger" So the wife smiles and passes the sugar to her sister. The wife's brunette husband catching on says, "pass the honey, Honey." The wife begining to feel better passes the honey to her husband. Howver her blond cousin thinking he gets the game says, "Pass the bacon, pig."

That is one of my faves ^-^
09-Feb-2005
Reiyuka
Reiyuka
Oh...my...god! Blond jokes usually crack me up. Let's see, for my two cents, I'm gonna go back to Goku-san's first post about the bad pick-up lines. It might sound silly, but I once read something about them and started collecting the silliest, most obvious lines there are.

Is it so hot in here or is that just you?
I'm sorry, but I'll have to arrest you. You've stolen my heart.
You have the cutest laugh. Won't you laugh again?
Would you mind if I fell in love with you?
I'm very shy, can't you start the conversation?
So, what's it like, dropping out of the sky?
Did it hurt, falling from heaven?
I know for sure that I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
If my first opening line doesn't work, will you give me a second chance?
They say that kissing is the language of love...wanna talk?
Can I have your picture? Why? Because that way I can ask Santa what I want for christmas.
You like me, I like me. Let's go out.
Can I sleep with your phonenumber under my pillow tonight?
Do you come here often? From now on, so do I.
I think this is one of those nights I'll remember for the rest of my life.
Where were you? I've been waiting for you my whole life.
Your eyes seem so familiar...oh no, wait, I'm confusing them with stars.
If you think you can seduce me...You're right.
I wonder if your name is as beautiful as you are.
There has to be something wrong with my eyes; I can't seem to keep them off of you.
You know what would look good on you? Me!
If I say that you have a beautiful body, will you press it against me?
Your dress makes you look like an angel, but it wouldn't matter. You look angelic no matter what you wear. (gah...I hated that one)
Your eyes sparkle like the sun, whenever I look at them, I look at heaven itself.
If I had enough courage, I'd even ask you out right here, right now... (another one I hate...it's so unfair!)

And here's some funny things I got from a DBZ fanfic on ff.net.

Rules of the mighty Prince Vegeta.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. I need it up, you need it down. I do not wish to hear you
screeching about me leaving it down.
2. Everyday is a training day. It is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Do not interfere unless it is at my command.
3. Shopping is NOT considered training. And no, I am never going to think of it that way.
4. Crying is considered blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let me be clear on this one thing: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
7. Do not come to me with your pathetic human problems.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything I said less than a month ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
9. Do not ask me to do anything, just do it yourself.
10. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during meal times. Do not interrupt my training.
11. Saiyan warriors do not ask for directions.
12. Do not ask me about colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. There is no such thing as mauve.
13. If I ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," I shall act like
nothing's wrong. I know you are lying, but your just not worth
the hassle.
14. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
15. Don't ask me what I’m thinking, unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as Training, beating Kakarrot and his brat, or my becoming a Super Saiyan.
16. You have enough clothes.
17. You have too many shoes.
18. You are to never prepare a meal without help from your idiot mother.
19. You are to keep your mother away from me.
20. Karrarot, his brat, and the Harpy, along with your other pathetic human friends are not to come round while I am training. That means never! They have their own houses to stay in.

:snicker: And as a freebie...
The vibrating sheep of DEATH!
11-Feb-2005
angelfeathers
angelfeathers
lol mom poor blondes *she feels no pain at all*
11-Feb-2005
kitori
kitori
Tehee I love the Vegeta rules they are always soo funny! even tho I don't watch it any more the vegeta jokes still crack em up cause its so easy to laugh at him ^-^
11-Feb-2005
Reiyuka
Reiyuka
No kidding. He's such a hard-ass that you can say lot's of funny things concerning him and basically everyone else from the DBZ crew.
11-Feb-2005