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Joke time!

Topics Misc Joke time!
Dynamo_ace
Dynamo_ace
I am not sure if there is a joke thread, but i am dedicating this thread to jokes. Don't make them silly or abusive please.

And now...Dynamo_ace's joke corner!

*Appluse*

There was a bad party on the moon last night...do you want to know why?
Absoloutly no atmosphere!
30-May-2006
Seija
Seija
Hmm... silly or abusive are kind of subjective, but I'll give it a shot! (Edit forthcoming pending complaints :sheep: )

A priest, a rabbi (spell?), and a horse walk into a bar; the bartender looks up and asks "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Ba-dum-bum-tsh!

~Seija~
01-Jun-2006
Dynamo_ace
Dynamo_ace
I don't get it...

Here is one you will get:

A man walked into a bar and said "ow!"
01-Jun-2006
Goku_B
Goku_B
theres already a thread for joke man.but nice jokes lol.
01-Jun-2006
Dynamo_ace
Dynamo_ace
What, i didn't know. Where is the link for it?

Heres another joke:
How do Vikings communcate with each other?
By norse code!
02-Jun-2006
chloe
chloe
lol both are good!:laugh:
02-Jun-2006
Goku_B
Goku_B
lol good 1 ace lolol.

http://www.angel-feathers.com/thread_568.html
02-Jun-2006
Dynamo_ace
Dynamo_ace
I DON'T BELIVE IT!

The joke thread Goku_B listed i used to put jokes on!

Sound the idiot horn!
03-Jun-2006
Goku_B
Goku_B
sound it once 4 me while u at it k.lol
03-Jun-2006
Link877
Link877
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

"How do you know this, Sister?"

"My Mother Superior told me so."

"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?"

"Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself"

"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life"

"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!"

"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know."

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.

"Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?"

"Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"


heres another one

One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.

"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."

The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.

"Yeah, except today is the last night."

one more

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again."

The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"

The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."

To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."

got another one

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.

The bartender asks "He can drink?"

"Oh, sure. He can drink."

So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.

"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.

The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"

The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"


maybe more later
09-Jun-2006
Dynamo_ace
Dynamo_ace
Oh you are going to love this one!

What do you get if you cross a copy of the Dandy and a bell?
Belldandy!
09-Jun-2006
Lanz
Lanz
A hit-and-run incident happened in the streets of Manila...

Police: Who saw the incident?

*a guy raised his hand*

Guy: I did. It is a van, and it is colored black...

Police: did you get its plate number?

Guy: No, sorry, the plate number is bolted at the bumper of the van...
13-Jun-2006
Dynamo_ace
Dynamo_ace
And now another joke!

What merit badge do you get for having your ears piereced in China?
You get your orient-earing!
22-Jun-2006
viet80
viet80
Watch this video, funny!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=537686963646486914&q=airbag
27-Jun-2006
MasterT
MasterT
he he he airbag in the face and he was warein sunglasses as well bet that hurt =p
27-Jun-2006